I miss you most at Christmas

Every year, for twenty years or more, I drove my family to Delaware to visit my parents at Christmas time. We would dread the day long drive each year, first with a baby, then later with two babies, then small children and finally, all day in a car with teenagers. Waking up in the dark to beat the morning rush hour traffic in Charlotte, Richmond by lunch time, and Washington DC before the afternoon rush, we would pull off of I-95 in Delaware, frazzled and tired, by dinner time. 525.4 miles in ten hours, we made that trip year after year after year.

I always felt such relief to walk into Mary Lee and Minor’s home. It was clean as a whistle and warm and inviting and when Dad said his customary “greetings!” I knew I had finally arrived home. Mom had a meal ready that would keep well and we all stood around looking at each other, glad for the ride to be over and anticipating all that Christmas was at the Seward’s home. And though my own home was far away, I always felt that I had come back to my original home where I was able to be carefree and relaxed, accepted for who I was, no matter what I did or did not do.

We did the same things and ate the same food and said the same words to one another over the years. Nothing happened in their house that wasn’t also happening in homes all across America. It was just what we did and I really didn’t appreciate it much until the last three Christmases. My kids are now in their mid-twenties and we stopped making the trip regularly when they left home. My wife deserved to be with her family for a change and it just didn’t make sense anymore.  We still drove up to visit but not so regularly and not always at Christmas.

When it would come time to leave for drive back home, Dad would park his Lincoln out in the driveway so I could back my Honda into the garage and load it up in the warm. At o’dark-thirty, Mom and Dad would be up, in their bathrobes and pajamas, coffee cups in hand, to see us off. For many years, I hugged my dad and told him I loved him, there in the kitchen. After several years, he came to respond, first with “uh-huh” then “me too”, until finally one year, I hugged him and he hugged me back and Minor Seward said, right out loud, “I love you too, son.”

Dad died in September of 2009 and this is the third Christmas that I won’t be able to hug him. I don’t think about him much now unless I am using a tool he showed me how to use, or using the table he built that is beside my chair in the den, or when I make coffee in the morning or check the house before bed or when I check the oil in my car, or when … ok I think about him every day.

But I think about him most at Christmas time.

Dave Seward

December 24, 2011

I miss you (most at Christmas Time) Mariah Carey

The fire is burning
The room's all aglow
Outside the December wind blows
Away in the distance
The carolers sing in the snow
Everybody's laughing
The world is celebrating
And everyone's so happy
Except for me tonight
Because...

[Chorus:]
I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you
Most at Christmas time

I gaze out the window
This cold winters' night
At all of the twinkling lights
Alone in the darkness
Remembering when you were mine
Everybody's smiling
The whole world is rejoicing
And everyone's embracing
Except for you and I
Baby...

I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you
Most at Christmas time

In the springtime
Those memories start to fade
With the April rain
Through the summer days
Till Autumn's leaves are gone
I get by without you
Till the snow begins to fall
And then...

I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you
Most at Christmas time

December 18, 2011

Quotes of the week

“Time is like money: you can spend, waste, or invest!”
Unknown

I'll be ready for it to happen and that way it won't happen. It's a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but it's my lot in life.

Tina Fey, Bossypants, 2011

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
--Will Rogers

Websites of the week

Bah Humbug! Holiday Decorations are Increasingly Causing Injuries, CPSC Report

The culmination of millennia of scientific endeavor

MapQuest app gives audible turn by turn directions on my Iphone so I won’t drive my car off of a cliff, again.

Meditation of the week

Nothing happens unless first a dream.
--Carl Sandburg

What do we see when we daydream about the future? Is everything much better than it is now, or are we still struggling with the same issues? Are we dreaming about what we really want or about what we think we want? Do we see the whole picture or just a piece of it? Do our daydreams match our goals?

Actions we take today affect how we live tomorrow. If we know what we want -- if we listen to our heart's desire, write down our goals, and keep them in mind with every action we take --we create our dreams. We turn our wishes into goals and our goals into reality.

Today I will visualize the life I want.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

Video of the week

December 11, 2011

Quotes of the week

“He that is well paid is well satisfied.”
William Shakespeare

Remarks by the President on the Economy in Osawatomie, Kansas

Websites of the week

Excited Mike Krzyzewski: Duke Squad Hasn't Been This Unlikable In Years (thanks brother Rob)

The culmination of millennia of scientific endeavor

Why Internet Commenters Will Eventually End The World

By justinHalpern the “shit my dad says” author

Meditation of the week

Laughter, by definition, is healthy.
--Doris Lessing

A hearty laugh can warm a cold room and make our spirits soar. But many of us are afraid to laugh, especially when we make mistakes. We think we're supposed to be perfect, and we don't allow ourselves to make mistakes. However, we're not a mold punched out by a machine. We're human beings, with all our wonderful flaws. It is those flaws that make our lives interesting and surprising. Who knows when we might accidentally bump into a chair or catch our sweater on a doorknob? We needn't feel self-conscious, it happens to many of us.

Video of the week

How to Find the Right Shrink for You

It can be one of the most important relationships in life, yet choosing a therapist is often baffling for patients. Melinda Beck on Lunch Break discusses how to go about finding one and insuring you and your shrink are a good fit.

How to find the right therapist video

Revenge is a dish best served cold

Quotes of the week

“It's a sign of your own worth sometimes if you are hated by the right people.”
Miles Franklin

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
Sicilian Proverb ( Watch out. I might be coming for you some day!)

“Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Websites of the week

A Victim Treats His Mugger Right

The culmination of millennia of scientific endeavor

U.N. Envoy: U.S. Isn't Protecting Occupy Protesters' Rights

"Citizens have the right to dissent with the authorities, and there's no need to use public force to silence that dissension," Frank La Rue, who serves as the U.N. "special rapporteur" for the protection of free expression. Full story here

Meditation of the week

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Some things I cannot change: my age, who my relatives are, my eye color, my height, my childhood experiences, my inborn talents, my nature, someone else's abuse of alcohol or other drugs, whether the sun will shine, my job history, what I will inherit, how my parents feel, yesterday's lost opportunities, how long I will live, who forgives me, how my parents treated me, how much I am loved, the past.

Some things I can change: the youthfulness of my spirit, who my friends are, my hair color, my weight, my adult experiences, my achievements, my character, my reaction to someone else's use of alcohol or other drugs, whether my eyes will shine, my job possibilities, what I will bequeath, how I feel, my ability to act on today's opportunities, how well I will live, whom I forgive, how I treat my own children, how much I love, the future.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

Poem of the Week

Never Mind

by Denver Butson

      that guests no longer come unannounced
      or that the photo album contains pictures
of much younger people than we remember being

     never mind that swallows etch Sanskrit
              on the wrinkled sky

                 it's November
     and the present is emptying its wine
                into our glasses

     never mind that we're not touching now

because our shadows are holding hands
         in the dark behind our backs

Video of the week

Zach Wahls Speaks About Family

Song of the Week

You’re gonna miss this~ Trace Adkins  (Thanks Dan)

When I was a boy

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. ~John F. Kennedy

“Prejudices are what fools use for reason.”
Voltaire

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”
C.S. Lewis

Christmas: It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a Federal Holiday. That way, the Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state. Samantha Bee

Websites of the week

http://lifehacker.com/5862252/50-free-apps-were-most-thankful-for

How to Discover Your Life’s Purpose – 7 Questions to Ask

The culmination of millennia of scientific endeavor

http://www.spotify.com

(Thanks Saye)

Meditation of the week

Hippocratic Oath

Original, translated into English:

I swear by Apollo, the healer, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, all the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgment, the following Oath and agreement:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippocratic_Oath

Poem of the Week

Holy Ghost

by June Beisch,

The congregation sang off key.
The priest was rambling.
The paint was peeling in the Sacristy.

A wayward pigeon, trapped in the church,
flew wildly around for a while and then
flew toward a stained glass window,

but it didn't look like reality.

The ushers yawned, the dollar bills
drifted lazily out of the collection baskets
and a child in the front row began to cry.

Suddenly, the pigeon flew down low,
swooping over the heads of the faithful
like the Holy Ghost descending at Pentecost

Everyone took it to be a sign,
Everyone wants so badly to believe.
You can survive anything if you know
that someone is looking out for you,

but the sky outside the stained glass window,
doesn't it look like home?

Video of the week

The Moth and the World Science Festival Present Andy Borowitz: An Unexpected Twist

Song of the Week

Listen to this and you, too, will remember when you were a boy

(I remembered when I was a girl!)

When I was a boy, Dar Williams

I won't forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I'm glad he didn't check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate's deck.

And I remember that night
When I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.

And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor came outside to say, "Get your shirt,"
I said "No way, it's the last time I'm not breaking any law."

And now I'm in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in,
they've got implants to remove

But I am not forgetting...that I was a boy too

And like the woods where I would creep, it's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, 'cept when I'm being caught off guard
And I've had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.

And so I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say, "Now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won"
And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see

When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you"

November 20, 2011

 

Quotes of the week

“Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience.”
Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

The only job Republicans care about is "Barack Obama's”. ~Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-Fla.)

“The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.”
Albert Einstein

"What we should be asking is not whether we need a big government or small government, but how we can create a smarter and better government." President Barack Obama

Websites of the week

http://www.whatwasthere.com/

A really neat gif image that I did NOT stare at for ten minutes

http://blog.kertgartner.com/Downloads/Images/Cinemagraph/PatriciaBeachCinemagraph.gif

Dear Photograph of the week

http://dearphotograph.com/archive

Meditation of the week

Really good sermon (thanks Rob)

http://www.trinitywallstreet.org/webcasts/videos/sermons/the-rev-mark-bozzuti-jones/sunday-1115am-sermon-the-rev-mark-bozzuti-jones-4

Read Rob’s take on it here http://alaskarob53.blogspot.com/